genderwikiaorg-20200215-history
Talk:Non-binary/@comment-84.161.116.76-20150331123913
I don't know much about this whole gender and sexuality thing but the more I read about it the more I get interested in it and also the more I feel like I'm not what am I trying to be. This sounds really confusing, I know. Let me try to explain it. I'm a tall (1.85m) born female with broad shoulders and wide hips. I'm proud as heck to be so tall because I love it. I alway prefered to wear male clothes, simply because they're more comfortable and cheaper and man, they look so much better. Also, I have the problem that many female clothes don't fit me very well, since the aformentioned broad shoulders and my very unfortunate, big breasts (EUR 85E). In the last months I bought a lot of female outerwear though. I tried it out and as long as it fits, I'll wear it. Skinny jeans for females is a must. I never really tried out guys jeans. I also take good care of my face, I wear make-up (I feel like I must wear it though, since I still have acne) and my hair is top-notch. I prefer it short. And, I'' love'' to wear nailpolish. I think I've found my own style and I feel comfortable with it, and that's important, I think. There are still times I stand in front of my wardrobe and cry like a baby because I feel ugly whatever I try to wear, but I guess that's kind of... normal? Well, anyway, I really hate my female body. I hate those breasts who annoy the heck out of me and are so inconvenient. I hate it when they're touched, it makes me kinda feel uncomfortable. I hate my vagina, it's disgusting. I feel really ashamed when I get on my period. It makes me heavily depressed and I wish it wouldn't exist. I have a boyfriend and I like him very much. We have sex, too but that's also kind of disgusting sometimes. Not always. So I looked it up and decided Grey-A fits me well. I think I'm straight. I have kissed other girls before but never really felt something but I never really explored it any deeper. I don't have anyone else to talk to about this matter. I tried it once with my boyfriend but he wasn't really listening and dismissed it. He's also kind of homophobic so he wouldn't understand it anyway. He also made a sexist comment about my hair, when I decided out of the blue to cut it short. The matter is now, that I really wish to be born a guy but on the other hand I'm not sure if I want to be a transgender to male, if it means I'll lose my boyfriend (he's really important to me). But also, since I don't really understand this gender thing very good, I'm not even sure if non-binary is the right for me. I feel so lost and the more I think about it the more I get stressed out over it. I know it's kind of pathetic and not even that important but I just try to fit in or something, I guess.